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Some Jewish Humour


This jewish guy was on a train and there was this black guy sitting oppposite him
and the black guy's reading a jewish newspaper
so the jewish guy says to him
"what, being black isn't enough?"


I heard the following joke but dont remember the details so I've embelleshed it a bit    Alan

One day God was looking for some tribe to be his Chosen People.

So He went to the Mongols  and He said "hey, how would you lot like to be my Chosen People?"
The mongol chieftain looked up from polishing his weapons and said "that sounds cool.  What do we have to do?"
God replied "obey my commandment."
The Chieftain replied "What Commandment is that?"
God said "Thou shalt not kill."
The chieftain frowned and said "ah no we can't do that.  We have to wage this big battle of conquest."
So God shrugged and said "ah ok" and left.

Then God tried the Tahitans.  He went up to this tribe of islanders who were lounging around on this idylic tropical island and He said "hey, how would you guys like to be my Chosen People?"
The islander guy looked up from giving his girlfriend a massage and said "hey that sounds good.  What do we have to do?"
God replied "obey my commandment."
The polynesian replied "what Commandment is that?"
God said "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
The islander shook his head and said "no no we can't do that.  We're right into that sort of stuff here."
So God shrugged and said "ah ok" and left.

Finally God went up to the Jews and said "hey, how would you like to be my Chosen People?"
The Jewish guy looked up and said "Hmmm, ok.  What do we have to do?"
God replied "obey my commandment."
"How much are they?" the Jew asked.
"How much?" God said, puzzled.  "Why, they're free."
"Free?"  The Jew straight away held out both hands, fingers up.  "Good!  We'll take ten!"



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page by M.Alan Kazlev
page uploaded 14 March 1999; last modified 23 March 2003

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