i don't think the ego trip is possible anymore when the inward pull is to that state beyond egoity. to me in my simplistic way it seems like ego and all that is like fire that has to be created ... that's how i experience everything like ego, desires and so on, i can have desire but i have to create them, it no longer just happens like it used to
in kashmir shaivism they teach to be aware at each movement of everything ... you perceive something, in that perceiving there are different movements, the creative movement, protective, etc so just like that when my senses perceive something, i am aware at the beginning middle and end. so when you are aware of that process it never leaves an impression on your mind, it is perceived like one wave risign and falling, back into its source. so desire can happen, but as it happens i am aware of it, like watching a film.
identification of witnessing consciousness with the thinking process and that "i" comes to an end when the thoughtless state is known. and all the mind concepts too, because whatever formation they had they dissolve into that deeper nature. to be honest im not too into teachings that focus on the ego, getting rid of it or whatever, seems like too many people are stuck trying to grab their own shadow, i am more interested in abiding in that state beyond egoity, beyond mind entirely, and from this perspective the ego problem is just like an error in thought, a virus in the mind, a good virus checker will find it and fix it
i really don't know how i come off to others, but i feel most of the time like i'm greeting people with open hands and theyre giving me fists if you know what i mean .... that is why i am close with animals but not humans, animals offer open hands too, so we can share our love naturally, they don't really impose that boundary in their minds that humans do, (although they have their own boundaries based on other things). i live like a dog or cat anyway, they have no thought for themselves "i am mr cat, i am a doctor of medicine, i take pride in my work". it's just mmmmmmmm window cool breeze yeahhhhhh hmmmmmmm hungry want food ahhhhhhhh sleepy nap time hhmmmmmmyeahhhhhh
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