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"st"

st is a practioner of the path of nonduality, young in years but venerable in wisdom, insights, and experiences

The material by him on this site is from our personal email correspondence, and has therefore where required been edited or reorganised so as to serve as self-contained webpages

The following is from a recent email (25 Feb 2010) and contains autobiograpghical and other material, and is included here by way of introduction


...i guess i don't write much myself, unless the other person initiates it; like you i'm not a socialising person

it's not just that though
i mean, what is there to talk about beyond the shared interests?
we're attuned to a different way of living & thinking

ive been thinking lately
about how in the past when i'd hang with friends regularly
through each stage of life
it was always activity

as kids it was playing
riding bikes, running around, just passing time
a little older and it was more mind to mind socializing
then my friends & i got into drugs like many do
so acquiring and taking drugs together
listening to music or playing it or sharing stoned thoughts

and i guess the conventional adults do something similar
get together, a little wine or pot, talk and stuff

but it's always activity
since being seduced into the ways of meditative awareness,
bit by bit all my activity has been dropping
and i see the whole madness of it & illusion in it
the activity is natural for kids
but some point is reached where it becomes neurotic when older
constant activity is a clear sign that a person is not aware of their inner being

i have not made any new irl friends who are meditators like me
it will be interesting to see how we relate if i do come into contact with any
(or create them)

seems like such a solitary path
each person has to come to terms with their aloneness
deep within they have to know themselves in that aloneness - kaivalya
only then we can really relate to people in the fullest sense
theres a nice verse in vijnana-bhairava
to reside in sameness everywhere, enemy & friend alike
i live like that, everything is the same
i see a lizard in the woods... he is my father, brother, mother, friend
see a child playing, he is my son, grandfather, brother, friend
this seems to be the reality of real monistic awareness
that everything is one
the entire universe is our own nature
our own being
we are the trees and flowers
somewhere a deer is shivering in the woods
i am that deer, i am shivering in the woods

this is the monism of tantras like vijnana-bhairava
the way they present it
its a very liberating vision
all distinctions merge into oneness

but this vision is too abstract for people
if they allow it it will mean trouble to them
how to live if everything is already divine?
what to do about war if both sides are actually god?
then hitler is divine and the jews in the ovens are divine
it's too much for them, they can't grasp it

their thought is confined to the earth
very contracted
even if they contemplate on the vastness of space their beliefs dependent on their contraction will dissolve
so what to say of dissolving the entire notion of a dualistic world?
transforming the vision into oneness
the universe as a manifestation within the primordial shushnuss (like sciousness and the buddhist 'suchness')

see how we're contracted?
someone dies ... people lose their minds
they have no wizdom at all






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content by M.Alan Kazlev
page uploaded 10 March 2010